Friday, October 30, 2009

Sick of posting miserable stuff

And of course I didn't post yesterday as a rare glimmer of happiness shone through but then the clouds quickly closed over again. SO fast it was hard to believe there was any sun at all.
I am being deliberately criptic as, frankly, I am writing this for my theraputic benefit.

Begin Self pitying rant

A close friend, concidered my best friend broke some arrangements that we had made on the 9th of September. It was a promise that was broken. No matter what the reasons were, it left me upset, out of pocket and rather angry. Again thursday was only a little better, and I thought maybe I was over reacting, but of course my plans of friday (Today) were cancelled at the last minute again. I even tried to work around but no dice. I was blocked at every turn. Of course there are reasons, but there will always be reasons, and it is just a fact that I am just not important. (Well of course not, Family ALWAYS comes first, but the Ego is refusing to accept this, I am stupid for even feeling this way.) I feel undervalued and in some respects crushed. Definately hurt.

I wish only that it had been cancelled outright on monday and I would have rung work and asked to work. I lost over three day's pay, and a tank of petrol.

I have been nasty in replies

As Pink says
"I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is broken"

I am so melodramatic.
Again I am going to bed in tears. Three days running. Great.

Over it

Totally over being this miserable.

Glad to go back to work tomorrow. AT least I will have something to do with my day.

Please let this shitty week, and shitter month be over. I can't take the emotional roller coaster I find myself on and poor David is at a loss at what to do to keep me happier.

Thank you.
End self pity

1 comment:

  1. Today I received a postcrossing card with a link to your blog. In case you really are the one who sent it to me, let me tell you I loved it. It's a photo of a cute roo, and I think he looks lovely. Thank you a lot.



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