Thursday, January 22, 2015


I have enptied my tattoo account. Alas one remains unfinished.. BOO it needs another 2 hours.
Oh well. Maybe later in the year.
I am thrilled to have found a talented female artist.. YAY

I was going to her for a heartbreak tattoo.. but for the life of me, I couldn;t find a home on my body. I could if it went outwards and that would look wrong .


In the past two weeks.. I have had three Tattoos from her

Thai Eel

Random Hound photo
My unfinished tattoo.. anyone have $400??? Sigh

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

expanding your circle

In December I decided a girl needed more friends.
To meet people and expand your circle of friends in the modern world, you need the internet. Sometimes you win and meet the most wonderful of people but alas, most of the time, you don’t.  Weirdos abound and this makes talking to people wearing. It is extremely tiring and when you are not interested, for example, a person too young or someone you have nothing in common with, they won’t take no for an answer and you end up frustrated, angry and have to block them. Some even demand to meet in person and won’t engage in the usual IM dance of sussing someone out. This is the modern world and a woman can’t be too careful.
Of course this does mean one of two things,
1. They are arrogant and cant conceived of anyone not liking them.. or
2. They are genuinely interested in meeting someone completely foreign to their experience and they can enrich your own life.
The trouble is which is which? How do you tell one from the other? I really have no idea. I use my instinct. It was right about some things in the past when on face value all was well.. so I have no reason to not trust it. You may not be so lucky. Tread carefully and if you like, don’t be afraid to say bugger off.
A lot of my current internet friends have been found on IG, a place where at least you have a chance of getting some insight into their psyche, although this is no guarantee. If this I have firsthand experience. (BOO)  I have met some amazing women through IG and for that I will forgive it for its other transgressions. (LOL)
You can put yourself on a dating site as looking for a friend only, but there too, liars and stalkers abound. You have a bit more protection than Instagram or Facebook as they don’t give any personal details and it’s up to you how you divulge this information. A lot of guys there are pushy too and most women use glamor photos. What about a market for a plump middle aged woman? HA
Be a glamour puss or be doomed to rejection. That’s fine with me, if you judge a friend on her looks you are a piss poor excuse of a human being anyway.
What about the old fashioned way. Meeting a random person in a bar or café or just in the street. I am a woman who likes to compliment other women who I feel dress wonderfully. I approach strangers on the street, shopping complex or train and tell them how lovely their nails, dress, hair or whatever is and I usually get a smile and a thanks AFTER a suspicious initial look of WTF does this person want. Think about this. I want nothing more than to be nice and spread some happiness, in giving nothing more than a compliment. The person who I approach, usually with, “excuse me..”, gives me the look of why is a stranger talking to me.. What does she want etc. etc. etc.. If you are of the opposite sex, this look would be enough to send me running the other way. I can’t imagine how guys used to manage at all. Where people more accepting of being approached 20 years ago?
I say yes. Our society now is so geared to online, that you can’t even apply for a job by sending in a letter with your resume. You need it typed up and emailed via and online gateway. Even interviews are via phone and the ones I have done in recent times face to face have had a 3rd or 4th person on conference call for the duration, asking further questions. 
Young people (35 and below) spend their lives face down even when walking and I will admit, that I do the same. They are not naturally conscious of other people around them and this has also lead to side effects of poor handwriting and rudeness, not through not caring, but an idea of standing up (for example) for an old lady on the train just doesn’t occur to them.
SO, coming back to dating and making friends... How do we older people manage?
Quite simply, we have to join the internet dating, even to find new friends. You have to be prepared to accept that people have stretched the truth in a lot of things, and if you don’t feel you are ready to meet someone face to face, don’t feel bullied into it.  Some guys put one sentence to describe themselves and expect people to flock to meet them in person. This is unfair to the other party as they have nothing to base a conclusion or theory on and you are best avoided.  You have to show that you are worthy of someone’s time. Everyone is busy, hell, I rarely have time to sleep 8 whole hours a day, so I certainly am not going to waste my afternoon on a person who can’t even be bothered to write one paragraph. Be honest. Wouldn’t you prefer a friend who likes you for you. (Radical idea there) If they don’t like you, eh, what do you lose? You did what you could, the issue is them and their narrow minds. You have yourself. Be true to that.
Block the ones who don’t respect your boundaries. We may prefer the old fashioned way but we need to take care that the dream 6ft man of your fantasies isn’t some mad loner, 4ft and angry at his mother with a penchant for firearms or poisons.
Stranger things have happened. 
If I depended on my social circle to provide new friends, I would only ever meet railway people. That’s fine, but we fall back into talking about work when we run out of topics. This means my off hours can be spent, mentally at work and this makes work all the more fatiguing.
Recently I have chatted to:
A software engineer from SYD
A grazier from GLB
A gas linesman from QLD
A cleaner from the ACT
A school Principal from SYD
A couple of businessmen from various locations
A truck driver from Western SYD
A beautiful sale assistant who has become a close friend over past few months .
I can’t remember some others... All nice people and I would never have come across them in my own life. As one stated to me, even if he saw me in a pub, he would not have approached me directly anyway. SO the internet is certainly not all bad!!!
Here is to 2015, not sitting in my lounge with the hound, a bottle of rum and tam-tams. I hope to find interesting people and have a few café rounds of Sydney.
Even if you are attached, put your hand up on a local dating site as looking for friends and they will find you. Your social circle will expand and you will find people willing to be there for you in tough times. Give them the chance to meet you.

Best of luck!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

a new pet hate

Meeting ppl recently I have found I have a new pet hate. PPL ask me for coffee and since most only i know me online, "check" my size.. because "I've been caught out before" UMMMM.

Fatness is not catching.. if you limit yourself to thin women, you are missing out on some of the most fantastic women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. This goes for "I only date blondes" Fuck you. I can bleach my hair, I choose not to.

Now replace this with Black or gay. I say again, FUCK YOU.

If you keep such a narrow view of people and how they are "Supposed" to look then I know you are not worth talking to.

Seriously, guys..... you are no male model and unless youu are, don't judge me or my friends on our rolls or wrinkles. We are over 40 not bloody 25.. you want a lady to look 25, date a 25 years old and all the drama that goes with a young woman.


I just need a strong set of arms at night to cry into or snuggle into. The rest, is fluff.

Over 40 and fucking proud of it. 
Today's OOTD...I got compliments all day. Not thin enough?? Bah Who cares what you think?

Dress Target  $69 current stock size 16

Shoes old from modcloth


Sunday, January 11, 2015

Misery is Manifold

After a friday meltdown, a day that was very very messy, I had friends to drag me out of my self-pity
David took me out to lunch and after a shopping trip that I couldn't afford.. (HA) I struggled through a shift with tears hidden behind glasses.
My darling friend Aniseh popped in to say hi and I gave her, her order that I had been carrying around.
She made me feel better. All the dirty old men at my work thought she was my daughter. Not impossible, but alas, no.

So, after a rotten day, I was invited to a quiet night at a friend's place. The thing I needed. A comforting presence without pressue to be on. PHEW.

THe weekend has been pleasantly quiet, I have been able to start to recharge and regroup. I have even been sleeping better this weekend.

Now excited to get a new tattoo!!! WIN!!

Can't  wait

Thanks to the people who held me up this weekend!! xoxoxooxx

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Busy busy busy

Some weeks are insane. This has been one of them. Mostly due to thw fact I am not getting more than 3 hours sleep at a time.
I re-established contact with him whom I call my closest friend, I can tell him anything even stupid women stuff.. I think I can forgive him even if I never forget. :-) Its all about moving forwards, I only have 41 odd yers left of my left and that if now less than half. The universe conspired against me and its highly likely we will never meet in person and this makes me very sad.

A new friend cheered me up, and his generosity made me cry. Its been so long since anyone did something out of the blue for me. Esp a guy who barely knows you. How lovely are some people.

I have been a shit, but a face to face talk and an honest answer has made my brain calm and I am happier than I have been in a loing time. The answer wasn't positive but it was honest and THAT is the happy making thing.

My beloved little sister has been a rock for me and no gifts that I shower her with will ever be enough. I wish I could get her a full time job, she needs proper working hours but her boss doesn't see her value and neither does her preferred company. It breaks my heart.

All in all, aside form no sleep at all, this week has been fairly positive.




Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Pho Sizzle

Modelling Pho Sizzle Horse Skirt (Golden Pony Boy Skirt)
The skirt is a smaller cut than the angler fish skirt. (deep Sea skirt) So whilst I fit comfortably in a size 16 in the deep sea, this skirt is tighter. Alas the 16 vis all sold out. Luckly, my waist is smaller than my hips so it was a matter of hitching the skirt up to my natural waist. WIN!! The top I had lusted over for ages was totally sold out so I couldn't get one. BOOO. Still that does mean you have to nab Jacquie's clothes as she releases them. Not I'm stessing the Kraken pants will never been mine. 

As I say its a smaller cut but the wise waist band helps. I adore wide waist bands to this ticks my boxes here. The scallopped hem it to die for and seen before in the Berry Pencil Skirt (I never can get in my size), the Imogen skirt and the Candy Star skirt. Yoiu have seen me wear the Candy Star skirt. My issue with the tiny buttons and the huge belly that I mentioned in the Candy star skirt isn't a problem in the Golden Pony skirt. The buttons are slightly flattened and so my shape doesn't pop the buttons out. Win. 

Cutest little pocket in a heart shape and quality of sewing is excellent. As usual this is a fabulous summer skirt and I urge you to buy out her stock. (AND THERE IS A SALE!!!)

Now if only someone would sell me their Golden Pony Boy crop top in a 16... or 14.. Hell, I'd take an 18.!!! LMK!!!

Monday, January 5, 2015

holes by passenger

  • I know a man with nothing in his hands, nothing but a rolling stone
    He told me about when his house burnt down, he lost everything he owned
    He lay asleep for six hole weeks, they were gonna ask his mother to choose
    When he woke up with nothing he said I'll tell you something
    When you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose
    Now I've got a hole in my pocket, a hole in my shirt, a whole lot of trouble, he said
    But now the money's gone, life carries on and I miss it like a hole in the head

    I know a woman with kids around her ankles an a baby on her lap
    She said one day her husband went to get a paper and the mother fucker never came back
    Mortgage to pay and four kids to raise, keeping the wolf from the door
    She said the wolf's just a puppy and the door's double locked so why you gottaworry me for
    Now he left a hole in my heart a hole in a promise a hole on the side of my bed
    Oh but now that he's gone well life carries on
    and I miss him like a hole in the head

    Well sometimes you can't change and you can't choose
    And sometimes it seems you gain less than you lose
    Now we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives
    Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

    Well we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives
    Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on
    Said we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives
    Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

    Said we've got holes in our hearts, we've got holes in our lives
    We've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

    Said we've got holes in our hearts, we've got holes in our lives
    We've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on
    Said we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives
    Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on.
  • Written by Michael David Rosenberg 

Hot and cold

Men that is.

I will never understand men. Not at all. You think all is well and suddenly, out the blue you are left high and dry..

I should be a give up and become a nun.

I will never understand what I do wrong but after three years of close friendship, I get tossed aside one vanished only to pop up two years later.. then same thing happens again but in a shorter time frame, and this time, I have absolutely no idea what to think.

They come and go as they please. They want to talk to you then, suddenly, you are told to vamoose.
I'm confused.

SIGH. If only I could work out what's wrong with me. I wouldn't mind so much if they didn't lie about it.

**Head Desk**

Moving on.

Aniseh and I made a USA purchase and 1/2 came today. YAY!!

Here are a few outfits. Some I am going to have to sell. as they just dont suit me. One skirt is just too large.

BOO. Thats the price you pay for online shopping. Least I only paid half.