Our self talk drives a huge lever in determining our habits and overall likelihood to succeed in life. All of us at some point get stuck in patterns of damaging self-talk that is counter-productive at best, and self-sabotaging at worst.
Have you taken the time to think about your thoughts lately?
The key thing to be aware of, is that the belief systems and thought processes inside our heads get stronger and reinforced all the more as we get older.
These thoughts sabotage your results before you even out of bed. And as we age, these thought patterns cut deeper and deeper grooves into our subconscious mind.
The biggest change in myself has been due to keeping a gratitude note at the beginning and the end of each and every day. Some days are I have a home, I have a comfortable bed, I get cuddled nightly.. things like that others are I am lucky enough to have a job, enough food to eat to be spoilt rotten to be lucky to be a female in a equal society ( Mostly)
The effect of this simple action is my negative self talk is getting very quiet. Its more of a whisper nowadays, one I can ignore.
The exercise in the book Beautiful you has Name your negative inner voice, and call her out when she trashes you. I have been doing this and IT WORKS. I won't tell you her name but she is told to Shut up, I am able to run 25 minutes, I am able to sketch, I can and am able to learn watercolour and I am worthy of love.
My mood has stabilised to being neutral or happy, and I rarely get attacks of depression now. I am still anxious at times but as I have said before, anxiety is such an inbuilt part of my life that I only notice its absence. It has been absent a lot more often recently.
I have seen a lot of my friends suffer as I do, with their inner voice ruling their mental health. We need to take control and call her out (Or him)
Here are some more things that have helped me recently.
- Treat yourself like you’d treat your best friend or a daughter. Write down some love and compliment yourself and refer back to them as often as you need. If we talked to our friends in the same way that we talk to ourselves, we may not have many friends left.
- Don’t compare yourself to anyone, you’re unique, own it, be proud of it, share it.
- Find or create a positive mantra for every time you look in the mirror. Even if you don’t believe it yet just keep saying it! Look right into your eyes, and tell yourself your mantra. try one or all of these!
- I love myself unconditionally
- How I feel matters, therefore I concentrate on aspects of life that make me feel good!
- I am to much of a gift to the world to waste my time of self pity and sadness.
- I love myself as and who I am
- I am strong.
- I am enough
- I am beautiful as I am.
- I choose to fully participate in my day.
- I have no right to compare myself to anyone for I do not know their whole story.
- I am happy in my own skin and in my own circumstances.
- I give up the habit to criticize myself
- Get out of the house!! Just go for a stroll with the dog. I have watched my dog, he is so happy to just run in the grass. I love watching the way he moves. So elegant. I watch the bats in the evening cover the sunset as they go out for the night. If I am on AM shift I watch the sunrise. Be midful of the world we live in. The flowers, the wind in the trees, the grass under your feet. The sun on your face (Or rain, I have done a run in the rain just because before)
- Adding to above you are now getting exercise. A light stroll is enough to lift your mood.
- Put your favourite song on and dance like a crazy person. Because you can move. No one will see and you will feel better. The negative lady will leave in disgust at your joyful action.
OK I don't have all the answers, but the changes in my life have been positive.
Write three things you are grateful for, do it daily and tell your personal critic to take a hike. Thsi will be a start to a better day/week/month.