Saturday, August 27, 2016

Anxiety - Mental Health

Ah yes.. Well after Heath's insistence and the urging of a work colleague and friend, (Thanks Rose) I went hunting to find a DR that would really just try and help. This sux in a major manner as most what you in and out ASAP to get then $23 from medicare. More ppl in means more money at the end of the day. I tried a few in the past but after being fobbed off by one in Camden.  Being almost hysterical in not enough for some doctors to draw up a mental health plan. This frustrates you which makes things worse etc etc etc.
Work has decreed that no short term leave will be approved, so, those of use working 90 plus hours a fortnight are further stressed by not getting our days off OR days in lieu.

A photo posted by @mentalhealthdaily on
You soldier on, but, you aren't. You appear at work but you become more and more de-motivated, or in my case, a duck. Highly stressed inside and calm on the outside. Like a house being eaten by termites, you are all corporate smiles but no longer a useful employee. Burn out.

I am anxious about Heath being away, anxious about the lack of sleep due to being disturbed several times a day by my cyclone of a mother coming and going, the traffic is now a different cycle due to newish traffic lights down the road and all in all, I can't shut my brain up. I am anxious about being so anxious and a burden on my loved ones and at the weirdest things I will burst into tears.  This is not a way to live.

To cope with just my usual day, I have resorted to meditation again. I can self hypnotise and some days it is the ONLY way I can get some sleep.  Seriously I can't sleep until I hypnotise myself.  I have my hypnothearipst to thank for  showing me how my brain can be so distracted but yet, you can get it under control by this hypnosis. Cool!

I have a new psychologist on Wednesday. One day AFTER my uni exam. I expected to do better in my assignment and when I got 23 out of 35, (65%) I am now stressed that I have not retained as much as I thought I had. I THOUGHT I had this week to relax as I had done so well in doing the readings and notes atm even getting the lectures in during my commutes (2 hours each way) but I seem to be over confident. (Oh the irony) SOOOO things to worry about.
I foudn this app and they have 3 months for 99c (USA) Lets see if this helps. IF you use it do you wish to connect with me on it?

Fingers crossed eh??

#mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthawareness #health #wellness #depression #sad #okay

A photo posted by @mentalhealthdaily on

Monday, August 22, 2016

Outfit August Roundup..

I have bee so hung up with life that I totally neglected the Outfit August challenge. Its my fav!! Here is this month's round up!

Work outfit 19th August. Collectif Dress on sale £12.50! Size 18
Dolores Painted Pot Dress in size 18 ON SALE  - all plus out of stock except 18 This is a stretchy dress. )

Accessories for the 18th August outfit Clips & bow from Kitty Deluxe

Voodoo Vixen cardigan and dress 18th August work

Voodoo Vixen Clarissa Retro Cat Cardigan in 2xl and the Voodoo Vixen Sheila Minty Kitty Dress (L, 3XL, 4XL Only now on sale ). Or source from Pretty in Pinup or Kitty Deluxe Plus sizes! I am wearing a 1XL.

OLD City Chic Maxi 17th August Size XS

Mental Health Day 16th August. Long Tall Sally Maxi last season. Size 16

Voodoo Vixen Hilda Cherry Dress In 1xl 14th August
Voodoo Vixen Hilda dress in plus sizes up to 4xl or try eBay.

Collectif Hawaii Pencil Skirt Size 18 13th August
Collectif Paradise Hawaiian Pencil dress. £12.50!!! No big sizes left except 18

Sourpuss dress in 2XL. SIZE UP! NO Stretch 12th August
Sour Puss Retro Diamonds in red. This dress is a small make. I sized up with the advice from Valencia, and she has them in stock up to 3XL which would be a size 20UK. If you have BOOBS, then rethink this dress.

Collectif Knitted Jumper and  Sour PussSkirt
Sour Puss Bombshell Skirt. Lovely and stretchy I am wearing a 2xl. The Collectif Jumper is an 18 and no longer on the Pretty in Pinup site or the Collectif site. Sorry. If you see one, nab it. Doesn't it look professional!?

Same skirt as above and Sour Puss Crop Cardi Puss Cherry Bella Crop Cardigan. I have such a short torso that it looks normal length. Its stretch and goes to 3xl. With Sour puss, I usually wear a 2xl (UK 18 aus 16 USA14)

Squeezing into a Voodoo Vixen XL instead of 1xl
This dress was bought second hand from a lovely lady on FB from Shepparton Vic. I wanted to see if I could squeeze into a Voodoo Vixen straight size. The jump from xl to 1XL is more than one size; this means this is closer to a size 14 than a 16. :( I hate that they have this extra jump.
XL   Bust 102cms(40") Waist 84cms (33") 
1XL Bust 110cms(43") Waist 100cms(39") 
84cm for an XL is silly.. I do fit into it but it's a huge hourglass there. To fit my chest I need to go up and have a baggy waist.  BUT the difference in waist sizing from 1xl to 2xl is 1.5 inches.  SO my sisters to fit a 41-inch waist either goes up two sizes to 3xl or like me squeezes into a 2xl.. Sigh.  Just be aware there is a line in the sand with this brand from straight sizing to PLUS sizing and never the two shall mix. (WHAAAA I want some of the pretties in straight sizing.. Large girls can rock pencil dresses Voodoo Vixen. )
But if I have to... BREATHE IN.... I WILL! 

Outta order I was going to the lawyer in the 15th and was going to wear this but changed at the last minute... 
Collectif Maddison Toile Dress - No longer in stock BUT you can get the pencil dress and swap with me..... :) £13.50 atm at Collectif
The matching jacket also a size 18 is £20 atm. Only up to size 18 though. The larger sizes sell out so fast; you would think Collectif would stock more 20-24 (OK stock 24-28 even)

I wore this to the lawyer. 
City Chic hasn't been on my radar. I have fallen out of love with this brand and have sold most of my collection with the exception of my maxi dresses. I do love my maxis. This max and Blazer was one of my last purchases. Besides Heath prefers me in colour and City Chic is so bland most of the time.
The bag is new.. Voodoo Vixen Anchors Away Bag Corn Husk Style Nautical Tote - From kitty deluxe and oh so cute and practical. Love it.

Another old City Chic. This tunic is on my eBay now. I also have the brown for sale. 

Heart of Haute Peacock dress, they are made to order. 
Heart of Haute Peacock dress. To die for. They make them to order so they are pricey and slow, but to have a striking dress, it's so worth the wait.

OK not an OOTD but need opinions
I wanted the black 2015 cherry pop dress in 2xl but couldn't get it. I bought this 2016 April '50s cherry in navy but its eh... I am so undecided. $75 and I don't love it. Is it just me ?? Some days I adore it.. others I list it on eBay only to pull it off the site again. Am I just missing some styling?

OOTD for 10th August, old Long Tall Sally in size 16

I added the bolero for the lawyers. 
The hound liked this one. Collectif Bolero on sale atm! Too slow to buy the dress. Now stalking eBay for a size 18. LMK!! I didn't notice the collar had flipped, but I like the pic anyway

OOTD August 9
Collectif Painted Pot dress size 18 - No longer on sale but you can still get the green one above!
Banned Shrug (These are the BOMB!) So comfy I wear these all the time. Need more colours Banned. Kitty Deluxe stocks them.

OOTD 8th August

Old Target dress from last season. Back in black. Size 18

OOTD 5th August
The weekend after this was in jeans and tee as I went bush walking with Heath's youngest two. 
This is the best lemon dress ever. Last season (For the UK, summer collection) Only the top and the playsuit are still left and only in small (under 18) sizes. I have this print in a swing dress too which can be found at Pretty in Pinup.

Hell Bunny!!!! Wore after work OOTD 4th August
Hell Bunny, Sasha Dress in Teal skull. I sourced this off eBay. It's a 2xl. Now I want the black and its all sold out! WHAAAA

OOTD 2nd August
Old City Chic tunic with a Banned shrug (Listed above) and cardigan clips from Kitty Deluxe. She has so many cute ones!

And back to the 1st of August. 
Its cold, its grey and I work in a cave. I am not going to let this dull my shine. Old Target dress size 18 and some cardigans to keep me warm. All from last year.

So that brings me up to date for Outfit August! :) Any you like?? LMK. 

Update - Back from break?? Maybe

SO. It's been two months since I blogged. I have thought about it, but with two months of busy bee activities and mental health struggles, I have not managed a single word.


A lot that has gone on has been awesome, but recently I have struggled with life in general. I am driven never to quit but also to keep trying new things.
I took on two tertiary courses, one university course and one degree for work. There has been a lot of extra shifts or just no relief, as others have had their personal battles, one colleague is dealing with the death of his wife last Xmas, and the coroner's court is still dragging things up. His absence and the general demotivation of staff with the new shift fight has meant no-one is motivated to do more than the bare minimum, and even that is a struggle.

Heath and I have been bushwalking to help give me some outside time, but this is every two weeks. The rest of the fortnight has had me working inside, in a cave.

Winter has been warm for the most part, some days over 20C so this has lead to some glorious days being missed by me. BOO.

I have been back to buying clothes, but in my defence, I have been selling a lot of clothes. I would sell three and buy one. It doesn't help that my favourite two enablers have layby.. :) (Thanks to Kitty deluxe and Pretty In Pinup (Adelaide) for being patient, generous with your on-line time and HAVING LAYBY! I have broken my budget only a few times, and that means I have been living almost within my means. Selling clothes has helped this.

I realised today that I have missed Outfit August so I will do a roundup in my next post. I have been dressing brightly to stay perky myself, but I have had days where I have slipped into black and hiding mode.

Wearing a happy mask for the outside world
I had a break down last week resulting in time off. Oh yay. :( I DON'T suffer depression now, that is managed, but my DR has said I have now severe anxiety, and this means I rarely want to leave the house. IF I do exit the house, I am worrying about everything and my heart rate rises, I shake and want to run. Heath has been super supportive. I asked the DR for anMental Health plan which (Under the Labor Govt) gave you ten free (Govt subsidised) sessions with a psychologist. With the Healthcare reforms, the Liberal govt has made it 80% covered, and you have to pay the $125 per session UPFRONT, and Medicare will refund you the 80% WHAT!!??

OK in my case, I have a supportive partner who can give me the cash to pay upfront but let's say a person who is minimum wage and saves to pay rent and food. $1200 per fortnight... let's say after tax (That's actually a high figure) $400 per week is rent. (This IS Sydney after all) We have $400 for food and clothes and utilities.. My electricity bill was $220 last quarter so let's take that out, we have $180. I need to eat.. so you can see $125 is a HUGE amount to ask someone and only to get 80% back sometime in the future. Does my person not eat for a fortnight and get treated OR eat and suffer? Seriously?! This is not the USA. Why do people have to miss out on healthcare to eat? What is wrong with the world.
As I said I am a lucky one. That escalated.. HAHAHA Photos below!!

Oh and WE HAVE NBN!!! Whoohoo!