Friday, December 26, 2014

Xmas day with a depressed person

My Xmas was actually pretty good. For the last 14 years I have been going to work early to fill in my days and been totally miserable. Yesterday, I got home, walked the dog and then walked the xmas specials with the dog sleeping soundly on the armchair.
I was peaceful and calm. I chatted to the lovely Aniseh and David before heading to bed around lunch time.
Only got 3 hours sleep and the thunderstorm woke me up. I get so much energy from thunderstorms. They make me so happy. I'm a child of the storms. Really.

OOTD was for xmas and for night shift

Thanks to Unlock hope for awesome tees and a great charity.
Today they have 50% off if you use 'halfoff' as the code. They support girls in Uganda who need education and a hope for the future.

OK I went on a tangent but its a cause that is close to my heart.

There is this fun app
AAMI Safe driving app
Google App 

you don't need to have insurance with them. heehee

Nothing says loser like a TV Xmas dinner
Dog was worn out

Thursday, December 25, 2014

I've taken a few days to lick my wounds

Everyone has a time that they have to hide from the world. Through this, I have had people that I have not heard from in a long time pop up and check up on me.

I really have great friends. 
Yummy Ham

Ben and Drue came down to Junee for an Xmas visit. We were having our xmas dinner early. Peter and Ben (Another one) joined us.

Ben helped me bake the ham which was huge!! 3kg.. He made a fabulous Glaze and had brought chocolate cake and a lemon tart. I make 5L of trifle there after known as Diabetes. I used so much custard, cream, jelly, magoes and strawberries. I was thrilled that the boys ate most of it. They sat outside and talked trains whilst Ben (The first one) went for a walk with me, the hound and the offspring.
We had to cut it short as it started to rain.. Boo..

Had to get up super early so, I left all the boys to their talk and went to bed.

The am, David, Ben and Drue drove me to Wagga Wagga for my lip tattoo to be redone. The offspring stayed home and watched DVDs. YAY for teens. I love that he can be left safely alone with the dog.
Trip home was via picton for the mail and CC Campbelltown to collect all my waiting orders from the past month. Fabian helped me choose what to return and what to keep.
Fabian says keep

Fabian says Keep

Fabian says return. (I did) 

Yesterday's panic attack was caused by so many people crowding around me and even as I stood trembling next to a pole, people would still walk into me and the pole. FFS.. Seriously! What a wonderful new development in my stupid brain.

Aniseh got off the train and rescued me, taking me to City Chic (Not the banned one) and she ferretted around for sale items. I had arranged with the sales ladies to wrap a present for her. This is why I was in the city. The things I do. I knew what dress she wanted and I got it for her. There was only one in her size and I wanted to make sure she didn't miss out.

Onwards to work and when I walked in, I was told I was on standby. NOOOOOOOO

Oh well. Here are the OOTD and the City Chic bras (that were on sale) of the past few days.

Driving outfit
Xmas day heading home

Merry Xmas everyone XOXOX

Monday, December 22, 2014

Its all gone colourless

Today my life turned into a heap of ashes.

I see black and white where before there was colour.
Never trust someone with a penis, no matter how pretty the words.

This too shall pass. I hope.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Xmas and Mental health

I work in an industry where we witness a lot of death and there is a spike around this time of year. We are not immune and the stress put on the emergency services is emmense.I feel for the front line people who do the tidy up. All we do it monitor, comtain and work around. The police, the ambulance people and the fire fighters (Along with the nurses and Drs in the hospitals) bear the brunt of the suicide season.

A friend - Leah wrote an elequent blog post about Xmas and mental health, much better than I could even manage.
Its ok to ask for help. Its ok to ring lifeline. Its ok to not feel chirpy xmas cheer and its OK to feel alone. God knows I do. I have had some Xmasses from hell. Last year was one of my best. I went to work early and took lots of ham that my mother had cooked. I let my colleagues go hom to their family and I spent it wirth humans. Beats the crap out of drinking yourself into a stupor or hospital. Beat making the emergency service personel's job harder and more miserable. 

If any of you are needing to talk, leave me a message below and I will reply with my private email. FB message me.. . Or if you know my mobile, message me. DM me on IG.. do whatever but know you are not totally alone. I'll be at work but happy to spend xmas with you too. Together we can move past this day and on to a new year.

much love from me. 


Aussie curves - Day to night

This week's challenge was really a challenge as my teen and I made a dash for the country to get my doggy a safe yard to help him recover from his trauma. (See previous post) Hence I have three dresses and two pairs of shoes. So, with my son's help, we cobbled together an outfit I could go to a fancy bar in. :-)

In my suitcase are three dresses, a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts and the three dresses. 

He picked this. 

Daytime. Yes I know the shoes are pink and the belt is red but who would care. :-) This is Junee.
The dress is from City Chic. The Layered Lover dress but alas it is now sold out. This is XS and a tad large at the chest area. (OK I am small breasted boo)
The shoes cost $10 from a clearance store and my mother gave me the Hello Kitty belt.


I changed to my only other pair of shoes.. (Had for years) Usually I would wear heels.
The neckalce was from my mother, I "Borrowed it"
The belt is city chic but no longer on the web site.
the Jacket is also City Chic - Laced up Jacket on sale ATM for $40

Fabian did the photogrpahy for me.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Hiding in the country

Wednesday was a struggle. I miss my close friend so much. Alas as we approach xmas everyone gets so busy. Even me but next week is my busy week. Boo. Sigh...

The bad day was topped off by a phone call from the council pound who had my dog. FFS. Can life suck any worse??? Yes apparently. 

The dog was registered as a nuisance dog and had a long record for being not quite dangerous but if he gets out again he is doomed. I was able to to get to the pound in time to collect him, and had to listen to the warnings and threats from the counil about my dog. The lady I bought him off never said he had a court order against him and the shock on my face showed. Wollondilly council let me go without any fees but lots of threats. The dog and I had to leave town. SIGH. He needs training and a safe place to relax. Whatever happened to him at the pound, he was stuck to me and terrified. He also needed lots of water. Geez.. 
I remember the same from mother's dog that we got from the same pound. A terrified dog that took ages to train and make relaxed. 

I was beyond furious. ALSO.. the poor animal needs to wear a muzzle as, on the same day a lady reported a great dane being walked attacked her dog. Well my dog was not being walked and had no collar as he had escaped. It wasn't him as they had him at the damned pound. I bought a muzzle. GRR

A halti

Depressed Dog
depressed dog



Busy busy busy. Had to lock the dog in the house, the fence guy agreed to do come between xmas and new year. Good. In the mean time, I have to find some where to keep him safe. 
I had a shopping trip to do as I had to pick up some stuff, then travel to Fairfield to collect Fabian.

I took some change room photos as some people like to see what the recent fashions look like on a real person instead of a model. 

I made a folder in a FB group as a reference for others.

Fabian has shot up a foot. He is 180cm tall. Yes my 14 year old is 6ft tall. 6 cm taller than me. WOW. Thin as a reed too.

We had to take mother to the shops which meant we didn't get to leave until 1800hrs. 

We were on the road soon after. Me, forgetting a heap of things. 

Kevin sent me the defintion of the hand gesture.. I told fabian and he was totally blushing.. Ever since then we have been ;aughing about it. HAHAHA.. We stopped at Yass for a dog roll and a toilet break for us both. :-) We headed off into the night. The dog slept the rest of the way.

We arrived and scouted the yard for dog sized holes. ..

Bed for all of us. the dog tucked up in the laundry.


Fabian and I walked up to the shops with an excitable Great Dane. SIgh. Challenge for the three of us. But we managed to procure milk and bread. Win.

Fabian and I walked the dog later in the day. We made inroads in his training. He was more relaxed and happy.  I defrosted the old chicken and cooked up a mass of dog food.  HE is finally eating, Fabian was saying how he is as thin as a greyhound. He is almost that thin, yes. Poor stressed puppy.

Fabian and David went to frolick at the council pool and I FINALLY got a pedicure appointmemt for tomorrow. YAY!

City Chic Maxi


The boys took me to my pedicure appointment. I had the best time., David sprung for the deluxe. It was lovely.

OOTD. The dog insisted on being in the Photos

yay red toes

Spent the arvo walking the dog, training him, working with Fabian to gain control of our excitable canine. 
He was exhausted and went to bed in the laundry early.

exhausted doggy