Thursday, April 15, 2010

Just when it all comes together...

just when you dig yourself out of the self inflicted hole... it all crumbles around you

Had a pleasant Tuesday morning, but was made to feel guilty when I had nothing to be guilty about. :-( Sad making.

The fall out from Monday if being felt. People are turning against people, the juniors are tattling on the ACs. The ACs are stressing and talking about it. People are dealing as best as they can, but it keeps dragging me back to a dark past I thought I had gotten over. Demons don't die as easily as you think they do.

Will have to face another demon to help a friend. Not sure I will be able to do it. Terrified?? Yes. Will I do my best? Yes. Am I sure I want to do this? No. Not at all.

ALL this together has made me short tempered, needy and depressed. I hate being like this. I like to believe I am strong, and capable, but weeks like this try to prove me wrong.
My old dream job arrived in my inbox. Maybe its a sign I move on?? Should I stay where I have reached the top of where I can go? Can I deal with a massive pay drop again. The last time I did this, I dropped $35K to $40K and worked hard to get to where I am. Trouble is. the way my place of employment is going, I am not sure this is where I want to work. .What to do??

**sad, depressed and annoyed**

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