Thursday, August 9, 2012

Dizzy week

Have had a hectic week. I have been struggling with many emotions,  my upcoming final assessment, the retatrded appeal and my fatigue being stuck on AM shift.
Mood swings from extreme anxiousness and irritation to being the most Zen person on the planet.

I was rostered on a Saturday shift, this time AM shift. I sucked it up as it was double time. Sunday was blissful even with the upcoming week.

Monday was stressful as we were alone with each other in the RMC and applicant 2 was essentially pacing.. we tried to calm him :-) we came and went through RMC, some guys sitting on panel, others arranged a booklet for the rest of the class. Even got to binding ! :-)

Tuesday Jodie and I took the drivers to the signal boxes where we had worked. First up was Sydenham. I was hoping to catch up with some friends but the people on day work (with a few exceptions) were so rude. Gossiping and snickering amongst each other. Geez I only left a few weeks ago. Fuck you too guys. You cemented my resolve to never see you C**ts again.  Thanks to the few who had basic manners.
 Jodie and I escaped to get coffee with Marlene and the boys stayed with the Acting ASBM doing his spiel.
Afterwards We visited Sydney Signal box. Horrible work place but the people are so much more polite. Maybe I should have transferred a few years ago. What a difference. Sydenham has the atmosphere of a den of savage dogs and Sydney was bright and airy. A much more welcoming place. Why did I stay in a crappy work place for so long?? We returned to RMC to continue study. Only 4 of us were left but we discovered our missing 4 colleagues had been successful.

Morning light #urban #sydneymorningphoto #sydney
Wednesday was traumatic. It was my turn to be assessed as a Train controller. EEP. I had a minor panic attack as I realised that a failure in this assessment meant a return to the afor mentioned S**thole. Enough for me to resolve to not return but quit if I fail. A return to those people would be majorly depressing. Luckily I had support. From my husband, best friend and my new colleagues. One even came to meet me up the street to put me at ease. Aw :-)

I forgot the simplest things. I was most unhappy with my performance and was convinced that Steve would be disappointed. My graph was certainly messy ugh. Still I was passed as I at no point breached safeworking. PHEW. Thank goodness. My AC career closed at that point.

Jodie came in and I stayed in the marking area out of the way. She had the same nerves that I had. Poor girl. She was shaking. BUT got into it and became a polished professional. YAY 6 for 6.

I was now excited from the last two and wanted 8 for 8 for Steve. One of the first schools to get all students through from beginning to the finish line. I was so grateful to head home, leaving a relieved Jodie to be de-briefed or as they put it De-senarioed (I didnt invent it). David and I had a most pleasant meal at the Imperial. I was happy and relaxed.

Thursday and it was final testing for our class. We all had our fingers crossed. We all wanted success for the last two. First up was our "asset"  He seems cool and collected. We all settled down and waited for our time to play our roles. At the end of the day we had achieved our goal of all 8 students passing the course to be let loose on the RMC. I was thrilled!! We had all worked so hard.

Tomorrow? graduation!!!

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