Thursday, August 7, 2014

I'm so Vain

Blog about a cosmetic procedure. Move along if you are of a delicate nature.

And here is my Outfit of the day. 



I'm so vain.

Really. Sigh...
Today started very early..for a day off. It was COOOOOOLLLLLDDDD.. (OK I can hear Leah and Kevin laughing at that so I'll rephrase.. it was cold for me)
I had instructions to dress in loose, dark clothing. For the first time in years I felt like a bogan. I was mortified at going outside in an old t-shirt covered in hair dye, a very old jumper that was pilling and my paint covered tracksuit pants. A running bra completed my shame. The lcals I knew and usually talk too headed for the country end of the platform. HEY!!! I showered .. SIGH.

My Endeavour got to Campbelltown and then shit itself. Hmmm Lucky me that I only needed to go to MacArthur for my electric train. All went well and I got to the Operating Theatre centre at 0745. YAY!!!! Alas no one else was. Hmm.

The lady appeared at 0810hrs. Cool. She was warm and welcoming. She printed out the consent form and took me to change into my sexy theatre clothes. As I had a sports bra on, I had to take that off. OOPS not my best idea. Oh well. I have learnt in the past few months to be much much less shy about my body so, after a sec, why not.


Texta drawn on my love handles and tummy and areas not to be touched (for future blood flow reasons, liposuction damaged the blood flow to the area and IF I need the more invasive procedure of abdominoplasty I need good blood flow

Dr turned up just before 0900hrs and took photos of me... the before. The consent form states that they can take unidentifiable photos of me for advertising, fine with me, BUT, my back has a huge half finished tattoo... so , good luck with being anonymous. Ah well.

Onwards to the operating theatre and he put in a cannula and of course my veins wouldn't behave. Took ages to get a vein to appear, I have trouble at the Blood bank too. Finally all worked and I had to be painted in Betadine, which was COLD. The nurse was new and didn't think to warm it. Shivering now and in a lovely tanned brown, it was crunch time. Lie down on my tummy and try to get comfy.

The procedure was not too bad, the antiseptic mixed with adrenalin stuff was pumped into my back and off he went... push and pull and ouch in some places. Like my back tattoo, there are some very sore places.

Finally, I had to flip over. My apron was going to be worked on. Usually an older lady like me (Yes for this I am considered older lady status)my skin will not shrink back but the surgeon had high hopes for my tummy so he was happy to reduce my apron and see if the skin will settle. Win if it does. High hopes!!!
The apron was harder to deal with but you know, it hurts much less than a tattoo on stretch marks.

Almost 2L of fat and fluid was removed. I was fascinated. He explained the different parts of the fluid and it separates in the tube. I had two tubes of goo...

To encourage my skin to retract/shrink, I was taped up front and back.

The lovely nurse put me into the pressure garment. Hmm my shape wear is tighter than this pressure garment. Weird. I am not to shower until after next Tuesday. ARGHHHHHH NONONONO... I love being clean. The surgeon looked at me and said, and I quote " only an English bath" (Don't take offence my lovely UK readers please)

I have the wonderful Benny coming to nurse me and he will have to sponge bath me. Oh dear. That will be fun for the both of us :/. Sigh

Into the recovery room and I was leaking from the insertion holes, flooding actually, bloody fluid leaking down my legs and soaking my clothes. Ugh Ugh Ugh

A slightly gross image below so stop here if you want.  I'll still love you.

I sat in a puddle of my own fluids (The stuff pumped in to my skin) and was given water and a coffee. Some gossip mags and a pen. YAY. I did the puzzles for 20 minutes before asking for my phone to I could go home. They wanted e to stay in the city overnight, neither D or I can afford a city hotel. Sydney . Bah. I can pay off my credit card with the cost of a hotel room near Macquarie St. David was camped nearby at my work so he was 10 minutes away. (Or 30 in traffic)

The Surgeon wouldn't let me go until David was downstairs waiting for me. I was drippy (EW) but otherwise felt ok. A tad woozy but ok.
David had put a tarp on the passenger seat with some towels. Excellent thinking. I was soaked. Much more leaking that I expected.
Gross huh?
David took me to the chemist to get my pain killers and antibiotics. Whilst we were there, I got my head pills for Thailand. Now to remember to pack them . I'm not used to this daily drug thing yet.

Home and a tarp on my favourite chair. 
On pain killers that make me feel high. Trippy. I keep asking David to spell simple words.  
I have to have a tarp on my bed. Boo. 
I think the worst part of the whole operation is this damned leaking. ARGH. 

Several layers of bandages and the sexy pressure pants. 
Would I do it again if my apron does shrink as we hope?? Hell yes. I really don't wanna to the major surgery. This is just what I wanted for a decade.

I am so vain. 

And high.. yay pain killers!!!!!!!

Only needed for Iphones and my 24hr days

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