So there is a disturbance in the force

I have no idea where this year will lead me, but from last year's two ,meltdowns to now, plus the near drowing, I can't say I have not had clues to the need to keep moving forwards. I feel the worst is yet to come. This is sense of forboding that I cannot shake., Its disturbing.

I had to break up with a good and close friend as the relationship was not meeting my needs, and everytime I hurt someone's feelings, I feel like I have cruely murdered kittens. I truely hate hurting people. Everytime I make someone cry I suffer their pain as keenly as they do.
Empathy suxs sometimes, but like the bandaid, short term pain for long term healing.

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Weekly round up.

A close close friend arrived back from his holiday and this set off some events that will have long term ramifications for me and my closest. Some good did come out of it but as I stated above, bandaid effect. Or closer to the Butterfly effect really.

This past week I have had to watch him suffer and I can do nothing but watch and be a shoulder or in my favourite analogy, a safe port in the storm, at least,I am trying, I am usually the lost ship not the haven of safety.



Weather here has been soggy.

I developed a chest infection that made me gasp for air at times and I really felt like I was having an asthma attack at times. I can't exercise and walking from the station, all 800m leaves me wrecked. Ugh. BUT if you all know me, I won't let a little thing like that stop me. HA. The cold has seen me wrapped up like a mummy and out with my mother doing chores and sleeping the rest of the day,. Monday and Tuesday were sick days.

Tuesday I went to meet a lady called Sandra. I saw her across Liverpool street and I thought she was going to blow away. Seriously we has such cyclonic winds and she is not heavy set like me.

This lady makes me laugh and I find she has a lot of the same ideas about life as I do. Over Korean, we talked for hours and it was too soon before we ventured out into the tempest again. Dragged her through the flood waters to T2 and the shop ladies where thrilled to talk to her. They even gave her samples of English Breakfast, in tea bags so she could sample a great tea instead of the run of the mill tea, I feel in love again with a tea cup I can't afford. ARGH

Sandra suffered my City Chic addiciton as I picked up my Birthday present, a lace trench coat. SOOO Pretty and been on layby, waiting for me, before she left me at St James where I could head home for bed.

Wednesday was up early to get my free flu shot. YAY for emplyer subsidised flu shots. Met my mother and we got that chore over before 8am. The roads around campbelltown had finally given up on the 4 days of rain and so the police had the entrance to Campbelltown mall closed, causing chaos. I got some waterprood boots as my suede ones had given up the fight.

Homewards and there was hope that we may, one day see the sun again. Hey!! We are aussies, if we don't see the sun for a day we stress that the gods have abandoned us..

A full rainbow gave me hope, then it fel from the sky again for the rest of the afternoon,  I gave up and went to bed for my night shift. 

The evening, I had a welcome visitor and we out for $10 steak night. No alcohol although you get a free one, but the best evening before a shift. I knew I was going to be on cleanup. 

Work was hectic. It took me until 0240hrs before I cleared up the afternoon's trains and incidents before I could tackle my work leaving me a few hours behind. Argh. Spa running Berry to Bomaderry, electric trains terminating at Oak Flats, a slip area with a 10km/hr speed, Waterfall to Helensburgh was essentially single line so, SPA there too when I couldn't fit all the trains.. Freight left in odd places like Coal Cliff  and so many cancelled, that it was hard to keep up. Still!!! Can't complain that it was boring!!

At 3am, I finally grabbed a cup of tea (New York Breakfast) and a toilet break, PHEW~!!!!

Had to drive all the way home so I asked a colleague to accompany me to chat so I could stay awake. 

As the sun rose, we saw blue sky and praised the great spirit for its forgiving nature and hoped things may dry out. 

DRY!!!!!!

Double back today. Heading off by train and a lift home with a friend. XOXOOX

I'll sleep when I'm dead.