A careless boot to the middle can make my brain go into over drive.
Back to the bad old days. The spiral is going like this..
Not being good enough.
No one will love you for you because you are not good enough. (add - "This is why they always leave")
You can't have friends because you are not worthy.
You are obese because you are a failure with your food.
(I know these things are not true. least the food part.
My weight is mostly medical. Oh yay!. )
Sigh.,I look in the mirror and feel like I have failed by putting on 10kg in the past 9 months.
My house is not good enough.
I am not good enough, I, like my house, needed fixing.
|House in 2011|
My brain goes around and around and around.
From Beyond Blue
"Ever feel like your mind is racing for no good reason? A common feature of anxiety is to think about things a lot more than you would normally. You might also notice that what you are thinking about is unhelpful or perhaps even irrational or silly, but you are unable to stop these intense and sometimes overwhelming thoughts. This thinking tends to be repetitive and often negative in nature causing your feelings to get worse."
Yes yes yes
Can I go to a reset point of before last night.?? I want my comfortable bubble back.
I hate my brain.