Saturday, November 14, 2015

40 Plus Challenge - Introduction

 Hmm an introduction, I have done one once before when talking about the Love Every Body challenge last year, this is more about my fashion...Or lack there of.

I dont have any photos from 1980 to 2003 except a few that flit around and I will add these as I find them (And scan them in)

the 1980s were spent at Boarding school
In the 1970s my mother made a lot of my clothes. We were living in Arlington USA and it was rare for me to have a store made dress. I remember my 6?th birthday and my father's mistress (Long story) gave me a beautiful white lacy dress. I remember to this day that dress. Moving forwards..

2004 - Slim for first time 
But still in casual, plain clothes. I had just left an abusive relationship and here I am on the phone dealing with him. Ugh

The years from 1990 when I left school to 2007 where photos of me appear again, (Thanks to David) I couldn't buy women's clothes so lived in men's jeans and men's tee shirts. Or just work work uniform. Being sexy of feminine was not an option. I was relegated to daggy clothes and my attitude reflected my unhappiness.


2009 in the UK
2011 - Still relying in Uniform to cover me

2010 I started to find a few skirts
My best friend has just turned 35 and he had wanted a fancy birthday, So I tried to find some clothes to wear. I found black and white.. of course. As you can see above, I am wearing a skirt. This was my first in years.  From 2009 to 2011 I had found happiness and my style started to change from hiding int he shadows to being more in your face. From 2009 I started dying my mouse brown hair to red and black. I stuck with this until this year.  :)

I was very daring in 2011 and worn a singlet outside.. Shocking I know. I was still only wearing men's jeans with some women's jeans starting to creep in when I could get a stretch pair. Sneakers ruled my shoes wardrobe.



This photo my husband took of me in 2013, hit me in the face. Was this really me?? All black again.. tracksuit pants and no care factor.  I couldn't believe I was back in lounge wear. I struggled with this for the rest of the year and over xmas I sought help. I had a close friend in the USA who became my support and through his encouragement I started to care for myself. 

The the other  turning point for me was in later in 2014, I discovered a plus sized bloggers.

I "met" Leah through her blog and she got me thinking about my size, my misery and how I had essentially never really embraced myself or even loved myself.  In this year I found I could get City Chic, Autograph and from the UK Hell bunny. These made me feel feminine for the first time. I had survived a major mental break down and I needed to really fight to recover.
David bought me a bikini and with his encouragement and that of the Bikini for everybody run by Stina Scott, I wore it in public and the world didn't end. No one laughed and no one really noticed.

There was no stopping me. 
Now, I have to take medication for my depression, nut its controlled, I am putting on weight due to this medication, but be damned if I am returning to men's wear. I am over 40, I am bright and I will not be hiding into retirement. I will be the lady with odd hair enjoying life. I have lost so many years being frumpy.. No more.

How do I feel about being middle aged?? Like a fine wine, it has taken many years for me to become fully rounded and myself. I am happier than I have ever been in the past and if I had been diagnosed with depression in my teens then it would not be who I am today. It too a major even to get me out of the shadows and its my challenges that I have survived that contributes to my gratitude of my life I have now. Sure I have shift work, sure I rarely see my friends and loved ones but I have so much and I am forever thankful to the 4 men and one woman who pushed me to take a good look at myself and take control.

To Kevin, Tim, David and Heath and of course Leah.. Thank you for challenging me, supporting me or just making me take a good look at myself..

 Bring on the rest of the 40s, so far its been the best decade of my life.

I aim to be just like Baddie Winkle when I am in my 80s and 90s


See the other bloggers involved in this challenge!!


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