Monday, January 25, 2016

A letter to my son from his dad

I received a surprising email that made me smile. I received it from my teenaged son's father. We rarely talk mostly because we have not a lot to talk about and time is against us as I am a shift worker and he is an office worker.
He read my blog RE my letter to my offspring and wanted to add his own.

So I will report mine followed by his.

Dearest Fabian,
Know that I love you and will always be there for you. No matter what, I've got your back. You are my son and always will be. In a few months you will get a car license and find more freedom.
  • You are almost an adult, you will find love, lose it, have your heart broken but you will pick yourself up and keep going. 
  • Don't allow peer pressure to make you take risks. If I trust you with a car, remember it is a killing machine and take care of it, you life and the lives of those around you. It is NOT a right, but a privilege. 
  • You will find your way like we all did when we were your age. 
  • Take risks, travel, try things that scare you but be true to yourself. I will always be there to pick you up if you ask. 
  • Don't let others devalue your worth. Love yourself and accept who you are. 
  • Chase YOUR dreams, not the dreams of others who would try to live through you. 
  • Have fun by not taking life too seriously. Things will bring you down, work can be a grind but don't let it suck the joy of life from you. 
  • Its one life you have. Grasp it with both hands and live it. Don't get to the end and have regrets.
Love Mum.



And from Chris,
"Fabian, 

Your mother is right. She has given you sound and caring advice. We may not always have agreed, but we do now. The truth of her words will become clear in time, if it isn't already.

Trust your instincts to help you find opportunity and avoid danger. Gut feeling is usually right. But we never stop growing up. Life teaches lessons to all generations for as long as we live.

Live in the moment because time and opportunity passes more quickly than it seems. However, keep an eye toward tomorrow and make sure you plan to have enough to see out any trouble.

Stupid people are on a journey of discovery. Criticising them makes one look cruel, not smart. Be kind, and they may be to you in similar circumstances. Karma is never far away.

Use words that are soft and sweet as you may have to eat them. Be careful in choosing role models and avoid bitter and sarcastic people. My biggest weakness was not knowing this.

You are at an age to become aware of the world around you in context, and where it is heading. Absorb all the information available to you to form your own view of what it will be like, who you are, the things that appeal to you, and what you want from life. Keep aware of things.

This is your era, your world and your time. You will understand it more fully than us, if not where it came from and how it came to be. Both are important. Things will change again.

Ninety percent of skill is observation. Ninety percent of happiness is self awareness.

Life is full of paradoxes. Truth hides within paradoxes, not a single opinion. Be a sceptic.

Take time to find pleasure in hidden beauty and to find peace in simplicity amid the turmoil.

Think of these words and reflect on the regrets of others, who missed out on them entirely or thought they could ignore their meaning. If it doesn’t make sense now, allow time to verify everything we, our parents and grandparents doubted.

xoxo.

Dad"


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