Anxiety - Mental Health
Ah yes.. Well after Heath's insistence and the urging of a work colleague and friend, (Thanks Rose) I went hunting to find a DR that would really just try and help. This sux in a major manner as most what you in and out ASAP to get then $23 from medicare. More ppl in means more money at the end of the day. I tried a few in the past but after being fobbed off by one in Camden. Being almost hysterical in not enough for some doctors to draw up a mental health plan. This frustrates you which makes things worse etc etc etc.
Work has decreed that no short term leave will be approved, so, those of use working 90 plus hours a fortnight are further stressed by not getting our days off OR days in lieu.
You soldier on, but, you aren't. You appear at work but you become more and more de-motivated, or in my case, a duck. Highly stressed inside and calm on the outside. Like a house being eaten by termites, you are all corporate smiles but no longer a useful employee. Burn out.
I am anxious about Heath being away, anxious about the lack of sleep due to being disturbed several times a day by my cyclone of a mother coming and going, the traffic is now a different cycle due to newish traffic lights down the road and all in all, I can't shut my brain up. I am anxious about being so anxious and a burden on my loved ones and at the weirdest things I will burst into tears. This is not a way to live.
To cope with just my usual day, I have resorted to meditation again. I can self hypnotise and some days it is the ONLY way I can get some sleep. Seriously I can't sleep until I hypnotise myself. I have my hypnothearipst to thank for showing me how my brain can be so distracted but yet, you can get it under control by this hypnosis. Cool!
I have a new psychologist on Wednesday. One day AFTER my uni exam. I expected to do better in my assignment and when I got 23 out of 35, (65%) I am now stressed that I have not retained as much as I thought I had. I THOUGHT I had this week to relax as I had done so well in doing the readings and notes atm even getting the lectures in during my commutes (2 hours each way) but I seem to be over confident. (Oh the irony) SOOOO things to worry about.
SIGH.
I foudn this app and they have 3 months for 99c (USA) Lets see if this helps. IF you use it do you wish to connect with me on it?
Fingers crossed eh??
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